Pentagonism of the Week
Bandwidth
Ugh. This word litters the corridors and cubicles of the PGON. How did people find out how busy other people were before the advent of this word?
Like any good PGONISM this one is perfectly nebulous and is seldom used properly.
It might serve us well to first examine a definition of bandwidth in the literal sense.
Bandwidth: a data transmission rate, the maximum amount of information that can be transmitted along a channel.
Bandwidth: the carry capacity of a data internconnect. High bandwidth connections are also called high speed connection because they can transmit large quantities of data very quickly.
Common usage:
From senior to junior officer: "Hey boss, how's your bandwidth looking next week, mine is already pretty low?"
Translation: "Hey officer-junior-to-me-whom-I-will-patronize-by-calling-'boss', I am looking to unload a project on someone, are you unintelligent enough to tell me you're not that busy next week?"
Perhaps, my largest issue with this typical usage stems from the english major in me. For the most part, one's bandwidth is fixed. If you are a sharp and intelligent officer who manages his/her time well, then you will always have a 'high' bandwidth (i.e. the ability to process a large or high amount of information or tasks). When you are task-saturated your bandwidth might already be taken. In this case, a more accurate and precise response might be that one's bandwidth is already full (vs. the incorrrect high or low) the next week.
So I implore you to buck the trend and when someone asks you how your bandwidth is, reply that your bandwidth is a fixed high-speed data connection that is 'full as always.'.....
FUUO's Pentagonisms:
Common usage:
From senior to junior officer: "Hey boss, how's your bandwidth looking next week, mine is already pretty low?"
Translation: "Hey officer-junior-to-me-whom-I-will-patronize-by-calling-'boss', I am looking to unload a project on someone, are you unintelligent enough to tell me you're not that busy next week?"
Perhaps, my largest issue with this typical usage stems from the english major in me. For the most part, one's bandwidth is fixed. If you are a sharp and intelligent officer who manages his/her time well, then you will always have a 'high' bandwidth (i.e. the ability to process a large or high amount of information or tasks). When you are task-saturated your bandwidth might already be taken. In this case, a more accurate and precise response might be that one's bandwidth is already full (vs. the incorrrect high or low) the next week.
So I implore you to buck the trend and when someone asks you how your bandwidth is, reply that your bandwidth is a fixed high-speed data connection that is 'full as always.'.....
FUUO's Pentagonisms:
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